I was surprised to be somewhat familiar with the meeting format. More people entered the room, some greeted each other like old friends, others looked like first-timers…thank you for coming too! and the meeting began. I was warmly greeted by the people already in the room, which took a bit of the edge off (my entire body was on high-alert!). It was a medium-sized meeting room with a long table in the center, chairs positioned evenly around it, with books and resources in the middle of the table and an envelope for donations ($1 suggested). I entered the room and noticed a couple of people had already arrived. I rounded some corners, walked up stairs, down a hallway or two, and found the meeting. I headed that way, heart rate rising with every step. I arrived a few minutes early to make sure I could find the meeting room, as well as a seat where I would feel comfortable “watching.” Upon entering the building, I noticed some signs, using arrows, pointing in the direction of the meeting. The meeting was on a Saturday morning at a church just a couple of miles from my home. But a little voice inside my head said…maybe I did? I mean…I didn’t need a meeting to help me. So, I picked the next CODA meeting on the calendar, arranged for childcare and went. I wasn’t identifying with much of my findings, but I could identify with SOME. The symptoms were vast… the causes were all over the place and confusing to me. I dove in deeper to my Google research and was even more confused about this label of “codependent”. THAT wasn’t me! At least it didn’t seem that way to me at the time.
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